13 Things I'd Tell My 20-Year-Old Self (I'm a 72-Year-Old Multimillionaire)

If I could go back and talk to my 20-year-old self, this is what I'd say. Spirituality comes first because as

say. Spirituality comes first because as the Bible says, seek first the kingdom of heaven and everything else will come out of itself. It takes a long time for you to really understand what that really means. And that is part of your

really means. And that is part of your spiritual path. The most important thing

spiritual path. The most important thing that spirituality means is putting making sure that the most important and profound things in your life matter the most. It's like Henry David Theorough

most. It's like Henry David Theorough said he went into the wilderness and lived for two years because he wanted to learn how to live deliberately. He

wanted to live a poignant life. He

wanted to live a serious life. So

spirituality just means really being serious about your life. And the

questions that really matter. You know

what's on TV tonight doesn't matter.

Whether you're going to go to heaven when you die or whether there is a heaven or whether there is a God or what God wants out of you I think is important. What do you want on your

important. What do you want on your tombstone when you die? These are

important questions. These are spiritual questions. Interestingly enough, when

questions. Interestingly enough, when you focus on these things, there's a spillover. This is where the faith comes

spillover. This is where the faith comes in. In my opinion, it's the faith. Faith

in. In my opinion, it's the faith. Faith

is not saying, "I believe that, you know, God wears sandals." Faith is is knowing that when you focus on the right kinds of things in your life, the spillover is that it makes all the other

areas of your life work so much better. Character is everything. The

better. Character is everything. The

most important thing you can do is work on your character. Character is like a a muscle. You can't make a decision to be

muscle. You can't make a decision to be self-disciplined. You can't make a

self-disciplined. You can't make a decision to defer gratification. You

can't make a decision to be more punctual. All these things start with a

punctual. All these things start with a decision. I'd like to be more punctual.

decision. I'd like to be more punctual.

I'd like to have self-discipline. But in

order to make them happen, you have to practice. You have to work on it and

practice. You have to work on it and work on it. It's not something you can get out of a book. And this is my biggest biggest critique with our educations. I mean, I'm a reader. I

educations. I mean, I'm a reader. I

loved history. I love reading. I love

the kinds of things that I learned in school. But you can't learn the

school. But you can't learn the character things from going to school and reading a book. You have to practice these things. Aristotle said, "We are

these things. Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not a choice, it's a habit." I always used to tell my college students, there's lots of places on this campus for you to

get intellectual knowledge that I can't even give you. But we're going to work on your character. We're going to work on, you know, being able to make things happen in your life, the ability to get out of bed in the morning, the ability

to impress other people, the ability to be to be courteous, the abil, all these things are character traits. The hardest

job I ever had in business was hiring people. By far, by far. And the biggest

people. By far, by far. And the biggest disappointment was how hard it was to find people that had good character. I

used to tell people, I can teach you almost any. I can teach you how to type.

almost any. I can teach you how to type.

I can teach you marketing. I can teach you how to work a spreadsheet. I can

teach you how to sell. I can't teach you how to be a good human being. You have

to bring that to the table. You have to be able to be on time already. You have

to be able to interact with other people. You have to have people skills.

people. You have to have people skills.

I can't supply those. I don't have five years to work on you on those things.

You have to work on those with yourself.

And you have to find the kinds of people that will help you because it is not something that you just want to do all by yourself. You know, people like

by yourself. You know, people like Abraham Lincoln and John Adams and George Washington. John Adams, for

George Washington. John Adams, for example, used to keep in his breast pocket a list of his character traits he wanted to work on. Be more honest. Don't

deflect criticism. So, he used to pull it out three or four or five times a day, and he'd read over it and think "What can I do today?" Warren Buffett he doesn't attribute his fantastic

success to his mentors in the in the business world, the guy who taught him about investing in stocks and stuff. He

attributes it to Dale Carnegi's course How to Win Friends and Influence People.

You know, most people read the book and say, "Wow, this is pretty cool." And

then he put it up on the shelf and never look at it again. Not Warren Buffett. He

worked it and worked it and worked it and sometimes he'd forget about it, but then he'd come back and work it and work it. This is what you got to do. You got

it. This is what you got to do. You got

to work your character just like it's your muscles because it is a muscle and it has to be worked. And then you become a person. You don't learn these things.

a person. You don't learn these things.

You become them. You become a leader.

you become a better human being. First

of all, you make you look for a community that is aligned with what you're trying to accomplish in your own life. I start with the assumption that

life. I start with the assumption that we're put on this earth to become the best human being we can possibly be. I

then define that as a spiritual journey which is a transformation from selfishness to selflessness. It's

counterintuitive, but the more selfless you are are as a human being, the better everything in your life is going to work. happier you're going to be, the

work. happier you're going to be, the better your family is going to be, the better even a business person you're going to be. Becoming that kind of person takes uh a lot of work. We're

born instinctively selfish. Ch little

children go y mine mine mine mine mine.

So we have to work on it. So you work on a you put a community together. The way

I used to do it is I would put up posters and and on college campuses or wherever offering a lecture, a free lecture or something like I'd find a room or hustle someplace where I could

do it and I would give a lecture. I

would pass out a piece of paper saying "Are you interested in being in a community that would work on the stuff that I'm talked about tonight?" And then we would get together and hold each other accountable and start doing these exercises together. Sometimes we would

exercises together. Sometimes we would put a lecture on, for example, but the lecture wasn't about bringing somebody in to speak and listen to them and just become more educated because of that.

The real learning was in how do we sell the tickets? How do we find the place to

the tickets? How do we find the place to put it? How are we going to make let

put it? How are we going to make let other people know about it? How are we going to serve the refreshments? All the

things that had to be done in order to put the lecture on became much more valuable learning experiences. We would

come up with all kinds of exercises that were specifically designed to work on our characters and make us better people. This goes all the way back to my

people. This goes all the way back to my childhood. My dad came home one day

childhood. My dad came home one day crying from football practice. He said

"What are you crying about?" I said "Mr. Nerie was yelling at me today at football practice." And my dad said

football practice." And my dad said "That's great." I looked at him. He

"That's great." I looked at him. He

said "Aogie, he's yelling at you because he cares about you. When he stops yelling that's when you get worried." My last

mentor, Father Christian, just died a couple years ago at the ripe old age of 100. I've always had mentors. I've

100. I've always had mentors. I've

always had teachers. We have teachers in school. We have teachers at work. But

school. We have teachers at work. But

then when we come to the most important things in our lives, the spiritual things, the the character development things, the personal growth things, all those things we try to do alone, usually don't have any trouble getting ourselves

a golf pro when we're when the balls are all going into the water. But when our life's not working, we we resist getting ourselves a coach. It's not easy to find one, but again, it's one of those things

that I would say I got just as much maybe more out of looking for the mentor as I got out of the mentor. part that's

part of the process. But what I always say is people always asking me all the time, how do I know that I'm going to have I have the right mentor, you know and I always say, hey, take it down a notch here. How does he know he's got

notch here. How does he know he's got the right student? Why don't you work on you being a better student instead of worrying all the time about whether you got the right mentor? What are you God's gift to the world here? That you

deserve Jesus Christ himself as a mentor? I've seen far more people who

mentor? I've seen far more people who suffer because they're unable to be coachable. They're unable to listen to a

coachable. They're unable to listen to a mentor. They're not unable to get off

mentor. They're not unable to get off their butts and go find a mentor than were ever damaged because they had some insane mentor that had them do some terrible thing. And so, be coachable.

terrible thing. And so, be coachable.

Find your mentor. Listen to him. Go

looking for it. And it's part of the quest. It's part of the fun. It's part

quest. It's part of the fun. It's part

of the interesting part of finding these finding these mentors. Americans fundamentally are

mentors. Americans fundamentally are uncoachable. We want all kinds of

uncoachable. We want all kinds of guarantees. We want to be guaranteed

guarantees. We want to be guaranteed that this is going to happen. We want to know what the ending of the story is going to be before the first steps are taken. The critical thing to remember in

taken. The critical thing to remember in terms of personal growth, personal transformation, spirituality, I don't care what other words you want to bring up for this for this process. It's a

journey into the unknown. I'll give you an analogy to it. One of the biggest problems for alcoholics is they can't imagine what being sober is like.

They're terrified of the whole idea of living without alcohol to go into the AA process to, you know, takes a trust.

It's a journey into the unknown. You

can't imagine the goal. So, you have to trust the process. It reminds me even of taking golf lessons. And my golf pro was would try to explain to me what he was trying to get me to do and what the end

result would be. And I would think I understood and everything he asked me to do, everything my golf pro asked me to do felt wrong. It felt wrong. Hold the

golf club like this. What? How can

anybody hold anything like that?

Everything felt awkward. Everything felt

wrong. But I trusted the process and he would explain things to me and I couldn't really understand. But then I would do it. And then one day I think "Oh, now I know what he's been trying to

say." But even that was wrong because

say." But even that was wrong because two months later, oh no, no, no, no. Now

I really know what he was trying to say.

But that was wrong, too. Because two

months later, no, no, no, no. Now I

finally know what he was trying to say.

You go deeper and deeper into it and you have these aha experiences, you have to live it to understand. And I found that as soon as things get a little rough people usually bail out. You're being

mean. I went to the see this spiritual teacher one time and he gave a he gave a talk. He said, "I have this terrible

talk. He said, "I have this terrible habit. I tell people the

habit. I tell people the truth and that tends to engender rage.

Everything's about taking the initiative. I mean, I sometimes in

initiative. I mean, I sometimes in business, I would say, just pick up the damn phone. Just pick up the phone. I

damn phone. Just pick up the phone. I

asked another mentor of mine one time who was here in Raleigh, eventually became a business partner of mine. He's

very, very famous serial entrepreneur built a whole bunch of businesses and stuff. And I said to Ray, you have all

stuff. And I said to Ray, you have all these companies and stuff. You know

what do you do most of the time? He

said, well, he said, most of the time he said, I run around breaking up meetings. I jump in there and I start

meetings. I jump in there and I start screaming. Don't sit there trying to

screaming. Don't sit there trying to figure it out. Get off your asses. Get

out there and find out. Don't figure it out. Find out. People who take the

out. Find out. People who take the initiative, go and find out. The

Pittsburgh Pirates won the h the World Series in 1960. And uh I came home and I said, "Dad, let's get tickets to the baseball the World Series." And my my dad loved to tell the story. He told me

"No way. No way. There 10 million people

"No way. No way. There 10 million people trying to get those tickets. Come on

Dad. Why not? Why not us?" So my dad sent a letter in or something asking.

Blow and behold, we got two tickets and we went to the World Series. All my life has been just things like that where I would just say, you know, I'm I'm not going to take no for an answer. I'm just

going to go for it. Let's go for it. You

know, as we used to say in sales, all they can say is no. As I was interviewing people in my business, you know what you're always looking for, and everybody lies because you always ask are you a self-starter? Yes, I'm a

self-starter. Actually, there's very few

self-starter. Actually, there's very few self-starters in the world. The vast

majority of people who say they're selfarters uh are really not. Take the

initiative. Go for it. You know, that's part of the fun. My dad, you know always said, "Don't worry about the other guy. Make the other guy worry

other guy. Make the other guy worry about you." I mean, this always reminds

about you." I mean, this always reminds me of a story from the Civil War when when Grant took over as the comm commander of the Union forces in 1864.

And meanwhile, Robert E. Lee had been defeating one Union general after another for the last three and a half years. And as soon as he takes over, all

years. And as soon as he takes over, all these other generals came came to Grant and they said, "Well, you got to worry about Bobby Lee is going to do this and Bobby Lee might do that and then Bobby Lee sometimes he does this, you know."

Finally Grant stood up, threw his hat down on the Gross, and he said, "God damn it. I don't want to hear anymore

damn it. I don't want to hear anymore about what Bobby Lee's going to do. From

now on, Bobby Lee's going to be worrying about what I'm going to do. And he went out and won the war. And to me, that is absolutely the attitude that you have to have. I can honestly say that in my

have. I can honestly say that in my entire career in business, I never ever asked anybody else how much money they were making. Never once. I never worried

were making. Never once. I never worried whether the guy sitting next to me was making more money than me. It was up to me to make my deal with my boss or with the company I was working for. And if I

was happy with that deal, if I had happened to find out that the guy next to me was making a lot, good for him. He

negotiated a really good deal. God for

God help, you know, go good for him.

Because the correlary to not worrying about the other guy is don't waste any emotional energy on jealousy or penvy.

Horrible, horrible, horrible emotions.

Concentrate on yourself. Turn yourself

into a person who's happy for other people's achievements. I call it putting yourself

achievements. I call it putting yourself in play. You know, if you're trying to

in play. You know, if you're trying to get married, for example, you know, you can sit at home and and and stew on your loneliness or you can put yourself in

play. When I was in uh Washington DC

play. When I was in uh Washington DC one of my greatest insights was that the worst place to meet women was in singles bars. So, I ended up taking ballroom

bars. So, I ended up taking ballroom dancing lessons. I'll bet it's just as

dancing lessons. I'll bet it's just as good today as it was then. So

everybody, all you lonesome men out there, listen to me. So, I went to ballroom dancing classes, which is a group lesson for five bucks. and it was like 400 women there and 10 guys. So, it

increases the probabilities. Life is a game of probabilities. Always go to the top.

probabilities. Always go to the top.

Microsoft called us with an opportunity to be on a CD um that was going to go out to two million people, but they needed our product Visual Intercept.

they needed the bits and it had to be smaller than four megabytes or something and they needed it by the end of business that day and it was like gave us like six hours to accomplish this you know so we went into action and every were getting everything but we had to

have it um VeraSigned which is a company in California that says there's no viruses on this it's good nobody has to worry about so Jay Hall my my vice president called called VeraSign and

they said it well submitted it's a three-month process so he said let me talk to your boss submitted it's a three-month process well let me talk to your boss He gets all the way up to either the CEO gets the CEO or the or

the chief chief operating officer on the phone. And the guy says, "Well, you I'm

phone. And the guy says, "Well, you I'm sorry. You'd have to put it in the

sorry. You'd have to put it in the process. It's a three-month process."

process. It's a three-month process."

And Jay-Haul said, "Yeah, okay. We'll do

that." He said "I'll just get back to Microsoft and tell them it's going to be they're going to have to wait 3 months."

He said, "Microsoft? You'll have it in 10 minutes." And we got everything to

10 minutes." And we got everything to Microsoft. Because he went all the way

Microsoft. Because he went all the way to the top because he took the initiative because he believed that it was possible. People think that there's

was possible. People think that there's this incredible smooth marble wall separating them from success that they could never even get their fingernails into it. I look at that same on I see a

into it. I look at that same on I see a Swiss cheese. So if you take those kinds

Swiss cheese. So if you take those kinds of initiatives and you value the people and you just say why not, you'll be amazed at all the kinds of stuff that'll come out of it. You got to have a guy. I

never go to the internet looking for a roofer. I have a guy for everything that

roofer. I have a guy for everything that we might need around here. My next door neighbor over there does my landscaping.

My neighbor across the street's gonna is going to do my driveway. I build

relationships, you know, with with people everywhere I go. And it's hard been really hard for me to teach this with the help of my partners. I built

two highly successful software companies. These software companies were

companies. These software companies were either sold to or made products for software developers. They were highly

software developers. They were highly highly technical products. I couldn't

even demo our products. I really to this day don't exactly know what our products did. I know nothing about software. I

did. I know nothing about software. I

know I I can't even figure out why my PC in my house right now won't sleep. Yet I

dude millions and millions of dollars.

You know why? Because I knew people that did know software. Business is about making things and selling things. That's

all it is. It's making things and selling things. And so the kinds of

selling things. And so the kinds of things that are strategic are pretty common no matter what the heck the product is. But I had a guy for

product is. But I had a guy for everything. And a lot of times I can

everything. And a lot of times I can remember I would be CEO of the company.

I was sitting there in my desk and a problem would come up. And I always was who do I know? There's got to be somebody I know that can help me or I got I know somebody that might know somebody that might know somebody that can help me. And then the second thought

I would be is yeah but why should this person help me? How can I help them first? What can I do for them? The

first? What can I do for them? The

reason why I had such great relationships with Microsoft is because you know, even though we were a very small company, I can't tell you how many times we'd get these telephone calls. We

need help. Could you help us out? They

knew they could always come to us. When

Bill Gates was being sued because Microsoft was supposedly a monopoly and everything, I got an an airplane and went and sat on a a day and talked about how Microsoft was great. And I did believe Microsoft was great at the time.

And they treated us really, really well.

So, I wasn't li I wasn't just politicking. So, I always was looking

politicking. So, I always was looking for ways to help other people. When I

have an issue or a problem or an opportunity, my first thought is, who do I know? And if I have something good or

I know? And if I have something good or something cool or something, who can I share this with? The biggest mistake that people that want to be leaders make. They're thinking about themselves

make. They're thinking about themselves all the time. How can I get promoted?

How can I be even be a better leader?

How can No, no, no. Your job as leader as a leader is not to get yourself promoted. Your job as a leader is to get

promoted. Your job as a leader is to get other people promoted. You should be racking your brains laying in bed at night thinking, "How am I going to get so and so promoted? How am I going to get so and so more money? How am I to

get so and so more recognition?" And the ironic thing and the paradoxical thing is the more you're like that, the faster you'll get promoted. Lou Moby used to always tell me, and by the way, Lulu Mabi is line of the IBM Executive

School. It's not what you think, it's

School. It's not what you think, it's how you think. Most people make the mistake of thinking that thinking is thinking is thinking. They're just

thinking. No, it's how you think that's most important. and how you think is

most important. and how you think is shaped by your character. So we I could give you obvious examples. Some people

the glass is always half empty. And then

I actually did an article on Forbes saying that there's four different kinds of thinking. Magical thinking. My

of thinking. Magical thinking. My

grandfather was a magical thinker. He

was a very pragmatic guy, very practical, very good with his hands worked in a steel mill. But when it came to anything philosophical, it was magical thinking, which was why do you think you know there's so many different

kinds of trees, Grandpap? because God

made it that way. So, it was all just magic. It was all just part of the

magic. It was all just part of the miracle, you know. So, that's magical thinking. And then there's modern

thinking. And then there's modern thinking. A modern thinking is the way

thinking. A modern thinking is the way scientists think. There's an objective

scientists think. There's an objective universe out there. There's right or wrong. It's Aristotle. Either A or not

wrong. It's Aristotle. Either A or not A. It's a logical way of thinking. Then

A. It's a logical way of thinking. Then

there's what's called post-modern thinking. Post-modern thinking is the

thinking. Post-modern thinking is the kind of thinking that's subjective. This

is where a lot of this idea of my truth his truth, our truth in sexuality can be overtaken by how you feel. So if I feel like I'm a man, even though I have a woman's genetics, I'm really am a man.

Uh this is postmodern kind of thinking.

It's not always wrong if if you disagree with that particular thing, but it's not that issue. There's a lot of ways in

that issue. There's a lot of ways in which it it just validates subjective thinking as opposed to just objective thinking. And then the final kind of

thinking. And then the final kind of thinking which I talk about is paradoxical thinking. And paradoxical

paradoxical thinking. And paradoxical thinking has really come on. It's it's

really great in the east. It's been

around in mysticism for thousands of years and really it's the reason why when you read these mystics, you know it is but it isn't. It's before the beginning and it's after the end. The

mystics talk like that and people really denigrate them because it but now we're coming up with problems that cannot be solved strictly with logical thinking or subjective thinking. So you end up with

subjective thinking. So you end up with uh words like coopetition where you put cooperation and competition together.

Controlled chaos. Well, if it's chaos it's not controlled. And if it's controlled, it's not chaos. But but now we're using phrases like controlled cha chaos. We talk about getting outside the

chaos. We talk about getting outside the box, breaking the frame, jumping outside the system. All this stuff is a new kind

the system. All this stuff is a new kind of thinking, a par for the west at least, a paradoxical kind of thinking.

And a lot of it is the divergent thinking. It's divergent thinking.

thinking. It's divergent thinking.

There's tons of riddles and fun jokes that are built on divergent thinking.

One of them is Johnny's um teacher teaching how to tell time. So she says "Johnny, the baseball game ended last night. It went started at 8:00 and it

night. It went started at 8:00 and it ended at 10:30. How long did it last?"

And Johnny says, "Oh, that's easy teacher." I said, "I was at the game. It

teacher." I said, "I was at the game. It

was nine innings." The joke ends up is he gets sent to the principal's office being a smartass because we don't want divergent thinking. We convergent

divergent thinking. We convergent thinking wants convergent thinking. it's

two and a half hours. But creative

people are always thinking like that.

They're always jumping outside the box and saying, "No." And they get a kick out of it. How can I think about this differently? You know, I could say 2 and

differently? You know, I could say 2 and 1/2 hours, but that's boring. Well, how

else could I Oh, yeah. It's nine

innings, too. That's another way of looking at the same thing. That's a kind of a divergent thinking. So, the most important thing is first of all, you got to care about thinking. Life is a process of decisions. Your life is not

what you think. It's not what you feel and it's not what you say. It's the sum total of the decisions you have made in your life. What comes before a decision

your life. What comes before a decision is thought, thinking. And if you don't understand how you think and what options you have in terms of thinking then you'll just you take the easy way

out and just think habitually the way you've always thought and you'll end up in a lot of dead ends. So it's not a question of what you think, but how you think. Whatever you're trying to solve

think. Whatever you're trying to solve whatever you're trying to become, you have to keep your head on it all the time. One of the disciplines that I've

time. One of the disciplines that I've taught myself over many years, which has helped me tremendously, is I never look things up if I can't remember them. I

was coming down from driving from Pittsburgh, which is an eight-hour drive one time, and I happened to try to remember the General Long Street's artillery commander at the Battle of Gettysburg. And darn it, I couldn't

Gettysburg. And darn it, I couldn't remember. I kept at it. I kept at it. I

remember. I kept at it. I kept at it. I

kept at it. I'd forget about it for a minute, then I'd come back and try and try and try and finally I had other things on my mind. I pulled into this driveway here. I started up the steps.

driveway here. I started up the steps.

Porter Alexander had popped into my head and I've gotten so much out of that.

I've developed a tremendous memory by doing that. But most of all, what I

doing that. But most of all, what I realized over time what I was really doing is training myself to be determined to never let go of it to just

get it in your teeth. And a lot of this was just developed with exercises like just not taking the easy way out.

Keeping your head on it is is just staying on a riddle. I sometimes would actually give people a riddle and tell them, you know, when you whenever you want to give up, give up. And I don't care about the answer to the riddle.

What I care about is how long are they going to work on until they give up. How

long can they keep their head on it? How

well do they manage frustration? Because

keeping your head on it means managing frustration. We all hate frustration.

frustration. We all hate frustration.

But frustration is actually the buildup of the energy that's actually going to eventually give you the answer. And

that's why, you know, Einstein said "I'm not really that much any smarter than anybody else. I just stay with problems longer." And then there's this

problems longer." And then there's this guy Ponair who, if I'm pronouncing it right, the famous ma French mathematician, and he worked on a problem, worked on a problem, worked on a problem, and he was driving him nad.

He couldn't let go of it. And then, so he said "I'm going on vacation. I've

had it, you know, so he goes on vacation. He was stepping onto a

vacation. He was stepping onto a bus." The answer came to him. But the

bus." The answer came to him. But the

answer the answer is prepared by having your head on it for a long time. We all

want to jump to that spinal stage where it pops in your head. Alan Watts the guy who wrote so much about Zen read his book and he said everything in life is like is like a memory problem. He said

if somebody if you ask somebody uh a question notice what they do. He said

the first thing they'll do is clench close their eyes and they clench on it.

Try to remember. And after a certain amount of

remember. And after a certain amount of time they relax. And he said their eyes will roll up and they wait for the answer. He said notice that he says and

answer. He said notice that he says and if the answer doesn't come they reclench maybe even longer and then they open and wait and they clench and it's clench

relax clench relax clench relax. He said

the answer always comes in the relax stage but it won't come at all without the clench stage. The bigger the problem if you're just trying to remember where you left your wallet. You know, the clench might be a 10-second clench. If

you're working on your spiritual reaching enlightenment or something, you might have to clench for 20 years. If

you're Einstein working on relativity you might have to clench for 10 years.

But it always comes the spiritual insight always comes in surrender. But

surrender it can't it doesn't mean you don't have to fight for it because the clench there's a clench phase that that precedes the surrender as well. So you

clench and you release and the and having your head on it is the clench stage. You stay on it. You keep coming

stage. You stay on it. You keep coming back. Keep coming back to that problem

back. Keep coming back to that problem and keep coming back. The whole purpose of Zen is to find enlightenment sator.

But they define what is Zen? It's

solving the riddle of life and death.

It's just solving the riddle of life and death. And Zen says, what is this riddle

death. And Zen says, what is this riddle of life and death? They define it as the great faith and the great doubt. So the

great faith is there's something marvelous going on here in life. We just

know it. We just sense it. You know

it's kind of like something that's on the tip of our tongue. We can't really feel it. That's the beauty of the beauty

feel it. That's the beauty of the beauty of nature. We feel it in in sometimes in

of nature. We feel it in in sometimes in a in a in in a piece of music or something or an art or beauty or whatever. There's something marvelous

whatever. There's something marvelous and wonder. On the other hand, there's

and wonder. On the other hand, there's something horrible going on here something terrible. We work and we work

something terrible. We work and we work and what do we get out of it? We get to die. You know, so when you're looking at

die. You know, so when you're looking at the great doubt, you're thinking this is this is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing. And

then the other part of you is saying "No, wait a second. There's something

beautiful and great." And you can't really make up your mind. Is it the great faith? Is it the great doubt?

great faith? Is it the great doubt?

Somehow this creates this this tension this I got to make up my mind. I got to figure out what's going on here. So Zen

takes it one more step. So that becomes the great red-hot cannonball of Zen that when you finally completely commit to solving this riddle, it becomes a red-hot cannonball stuck in your throat.

You can't ignore it anymore. Your head

has to stay on it because if you got a red hot cannonball stuck in your throat you're not going to think about a lot of other things. So what's your choices?

other things. So what's your choices?

Your choices is to vomit up the red hot cannonball. But that would mean deciding

cannonball. But that would mean deciding once and for all that the great faith is the right answer or you can swallow the red hot cannonball, but that would mean making up once and for all that this is a tale told by an idiot. And the Zen

master's job is to not allow you to swallow it or spit it up. So when I was hanging out with Richard Rose, as soon as you got too cynical, he'd say, "Yeah but think about the birds and think about how wonderful you and say, 'Oh

yeah, the wonderful birds." "Yeah, but they all die, don't they?" You know well, now you're back on this side. Now

you're back on that side. He's keeping

you right in that thing. Convergent

thinking would say you got to make up your mind between the great faith and the great doubt. It's one or the other.

No, there's a divergent answer that transcends and it's an explosion called enlightenment that takes you to a higher state of consciousness where you look

back out and it all suddenly makes sense. And so whether it's business or

sense. And so whether it's business or or your relationships or whatever, you keep your head on it. And that means again to repeat being able to manage frustration. This is one of the critical

frustration. This is one of the critical character traits you have to build in yourself. You got to be able to stay

yourself. You got to be able to stay focused and manage frustration. The vast

majority of people immediately, that's why we have this expression, blow off steam. Steam is what powers the engine.

steam. Steam is what powers the engine.

Steam is critically important to creating electricity or whatever else you're using steam for. When you blow off steam, you get rid of that. You blow

that energy off. You have to become strong enough to hold the frustration.

And if you can and keep your head on it with faith that you're going to be able to solve this problem you're going to be able to make. And this is what keeps somebody going when nobody everybody else is quitting. You have to become

like a well-trained soldier who is so well trained that his legs just keep automatically moving even when his heart and his head is given up. You you've

forgotten how to quit. You know

supposedly Toltoy the great one of my favorite writers Toltoy he used to pray to God to allow himself to stop writing.

vast majority of people that want to be writers, their whole problem is handling the frustration sitting in the chair for seven hours a day. He had turned himself into this person who didn't know how to couldn't stop.